Stroh: Harnessing The Power Of Stroh

After my first scientific encounter with Stroh just over a week ago, I feel it is time to climb back on that gagging horse and carry out the next experiment. Large consumption, plus time.

While I'm looking forward to the fact that I only have to deal with drinking it once, I can still remember the feeling of it burning its way to my stomach. If I have time, I may investigate its multiplicative effects when other alcohols are ingested.

Research

I was recently informed that Stroh is the "Ribena" of the alcohol world. While this may be applied to this paint stripper, the good people at Stroh have the following to say about drinking it straight...

"It is not recommended for wimps, cowards or people of a nervous disposition. It is a courageous hedonist's sport."

...I wouldn't call getting pissed 'courageous', but it should be a sport.

Anyway, armed with very little knowledge, all of which originating from corporate advertising , let us begin the science.

Equipment

- What's left of the Stroh (about 1/2 of a wine glass)
- One bottle of water for the now known horrible after-taste
- One webcam set to take shots periodically
- Time

Method

An experiment was set up to investigate the effect of a large volume of Stroh on Mike Sinkovich's well being. The subject ingested an un-nerving volume of this shit, and proceeded to go about his work. The effects were documented by notes and unflattering pictures.

Results

Time: 12:26: Really don't want to drink this, but I'm intrigued now. Besides I've written this much, might as well finish what I started...
...so wrong. My stomach knew what was coming, and it didn't want any of it, so I had to let it sit in my mouth for a few seconds while I prepped myself for the big gulp. Similar mouth cooling effects as before, only this time my eyes began to water and my face spasmed beyond control.

It doesn't feel too bad now, I was slightly hungry before drinking but my stomach now feels very warm, if not slightly disturbed. I'm filled with a feeling of anticipation, waiting for the effects to kick in.

Time: 1:16: I've been working for almost an hour now, no obvious effects have manifested themselves other than a slight feeling of nausea and a little cloudiness. Maybe I needed more of it. I have joined Club Stroh in an attempt to get a free sample.

Time: 2:13: Stroh finally made it to the party. Again an intense loss of hand to eye co control but very little visual disturbance. Random thought patterns. I just spent the last half hour watching videos of the Jaws ride at universal studios.

I don't know why.

But I want to go on that ride right now. The shark gets electrocuted and everything. Look.

I'm going to steal some of my girlfriends archers, see what happens.

Time: 3:20: I emailed some guy who made a whole site about the different robotic sharks used in all the Jaws films. It's hardcore, even found some pictures of the Jaws ride empty . I have a strange thing with that, used to have dreams about robotic sharks when I was a kid. I want a robotic shark.

This Stroh thing is pretty good, the large dose removes the nasty drinking, although drinking that much in one go was fucking horrible. I hope they send me a free sample, try some of those cocktails they recommend.

Conclusions

A relative success and a step towards harnessing the power that I know lies in Stroh. If the taste could be overcome through some kind of distraction of the nose and mouth. Maybe smelling salts.
Quick, large volumes are the way forward, although additional drinks have yet to be investigated fully. I feel this is the next step.

But first I need to get some sleep. Tomorrow I will find a Stroh supplier.

Comments

[hendo]

stroh.
feels like your throat has leaped naked into a swimming pool of liquid nitrogen then warmed itself up by jumping into a correspondingly sized pit of molten magma.
the 2nd best austrian export behind the steyr aug. unless of course it's swiss. in which case it's not.